4
Jan
I’m back to being myself after three months off Lamictal except for one thing. My hair continues to fall out. I think the shed has slowed, but I definitely have less hair on top than I used to. I’m pissed off.
Really want to warn other patients of this doctor about the hair falling out thing, but what can I do, really?
From the research I did on this hair loss thing, your hair grows and sheds on like a three month phase. So i guess it makes sense that it’s still coming out. But i still hate it and am pissed. I’m afraid to touch my hair because it’s going to come out. I’ve been taking vitamins (iron, all the B, biotin, D3, fish oil, zinc, magnesium, and others) and nothing really seems to affect it. Now I’m wondering if the Lamictal has thrown off my thyroid and that’s why I’m thinning. but then again, my eyebrows have started growing in scary thick underneath, so maybe I’m doing all the right things and it’s just going to take time. But I’m horrible at the patience thing.
27
Oct
So, it’s been about three weeks with no Lamictal. My hair continues to fall out. But I think (hope) that the shedding is slowing down. But the hair at my temples is now extremely thin. Maybe it’s just the trick of color, but i think that there’s some fill in going on on top (where it started to fall out first). It’s extremely depressing, but what can I do but when I’m doing. *shrug*
In some positive news, I’ve been taking around 100mg of Zinc a day, and after about a month of that, I’m finally starting to taste some of the zinc tally. I *almost* made a face this morning. I’m also noticing that I’m SMELLING things. And getting more taste back too! This is a new development, as I’ve been severely challenged in the smell department since 2000 when I got my deviated septum fixed. I thought it was a functional issue until i started reading that zinc deficiency can cause anosmia (lack of smell). So, I hope for more improvement!
I have a lot more energy these days as well. I’m sure it’s mostly from getting the slugmaker – er – Lamictal out of my system. But B vitamins I’m sure are helping.
I’ve been experimenting also with things like DLPA, GABA and 5-HTP, and Taurine. When I take Taurine and 5-HTP, it’s not drastic, but I do notice a calming effect. It’s hard to know how much of these things to take, and for how long before you know if they are working.
I’m kind of cranky so nothing really much to report beyond this.
9
Oct
So it’s day five with no lamictal. Yesterday i had a totally crash day. Cumulative lack of sleep plus 4 beers over two days (for someone who never drinks, this is a lot).
But the memory if how i felt on lamictal is haunting me. It’s like remembering a great love that i longer have. The thing i’m missing most is the way i wanted to be more cpnnected to people. Not just in the “i SHOULD want to be with people more” way; i actually did want it. I also felt ok about asking others for help. And i was more forgiving of others’ foibles (because i forgave my own.)
Wow this post just totally describes my situation…she talks about how having ADD actually prevents full blown bipolar…
http://blog.plantpoisonsandrottenstuff.info/2008/10/29/gaba-and-diy-for-bipolar-disorder/
1
Oct
So, I’ve made the decision to get off lamictal and try natural methods.
It was wonderful to have some weeks of peace and tranquility, and well-being. Now I know that I’m not irreparably “broken” like I sometimes thought. It’s just chemistry. I’ve noticed some of the icky thoughts coming back in since I’ve been dosing down on the Lamictal. But it’s been nice to just tell myself, “it’s just chemistry.” I know that they’re not true. Part of me wonders if I can just go on like this and talk back to myself. But I think I can do even better.
In addition to going off the lamictal, I’m changing my diet.
I’m getting off sugar…again.
And grudgingly getting off caffeine.
And I might experiment with getting off gluten. BUT one thing at a time.
So what’s next?
I’m trying 5-HTP, and GABA.
I’m not sure if I have pyroluria, as I’ve been taking B-6 and Zinc, and haven’t had a radical mood improvements.
Wondering if I should get a thyroid workup as well.
So…no more magic bullet.
Just using my brains to fix…my brains.
29
Sep
So I think I am pretty much back to normal. I think the B vitamins are definitely giving me an energy boost. Maybe too much. I stopped taking the B50 complex because I think I am getting enough with the Hair/Skin complex and the B-6. I am up to 150 mg Zinc and still little to no reaction on the zinc taste test. I did it yesterday and only every so slightly tasted something metallic. I suspect I’ll need to go up to 200mg before I see change.
I know I tell everyone that there is no “magic bullet” formula for fixing brain issues, but for a while there it seemed like Lamical was a miracle. I’m glad to have my happy brain back, but sometimes I miss the mellowness I had on pure Lamictal (but I miss my hair too, so there ya go). I am not feeling the love I had on Lamictal for other people as much either, i miss that.
I’ve been doing more research and signs are pointing to trying things like 5-HTP, tryptophan, and other amino acids. “Tryptophan” sets off warning bells in my head because my brother who died was messing with herbs and vitamins and I know that was one he was trying. But that’s not what killed him (clozaril did). Just because he was taking it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try it. I am trying to get over that feeling. I know that even though he was trying lots of different meds and herbs and vitamins, he wasn’t treating his body well. He didn’t go out much, and ate nothing but sugary treats, fast food and pop. He was also dealing with the collapse of his business, which would affect ANYONE adversely.
I think Lamictal has to go. I am even having trouble spelling regular words, and transposing them. This kind of issue is a deal breaker for a writer.
Before I go to sleep, I keep asking my mind, “Please provide an answer for my issue in dreams, I know you know best,” but so far no answers have come. So I need to keep helping myself.
So for the last week I’ve been taking the “other” generic Lamictal vendor, Cadista. My pharmacy gave it to me instead of the same vendor I’d been using before (Teva). Why? Because I’m sure Cadista gave them a better price this month – that’s how it works.
Part of me wondered if it wasn’t working. I had more energy than I’ve had in months. Lamictal slowed me down so I didn’t overreact, but I didn’t feel like doing much else either. But this also could be bcause of all the B-complex vitamins I’ve been taking to combat the hair loss.
However, yesterday was terrible. I woke up late but I was determined to go down for French Toast to Nolita house. Walking down Broadway a little voice said, “eh, you might want to stick around this neighborhood.” but I was jonesing for French Toast so I kept going. **FORESHADOWING**
Yeah, I should have stayed on UWS. The subway was held up for ike 40 minutes while the train ahead of us had a “passed out” passenger. Then I get to the restaurant and what they advertise as “baked french toast” was actually bread pudding. and not that good of bread pudding either. AND i realized while I was eating that because I’d gone down to LES that I was going to miss the paranormal lecture at 3 pm that I was looking forward to. FEH!
It only got worse after that. I was so shaky aftr having no food until 3 pm, that I think it screwed up my body. Plus, I hadn’t eaten any protein. Then afterwards, I went and got a cappucinno at the bookstore. At first I got terribly sleepy, but then i got WIRED and it was like I was on no lamictal at all – i had racing thoughts, hella body twitching, and later, I couldn’t get to sleep until like 3:30. it was terrible. I was seriously thinking about buying some alcohol to knock myself out. thankfully I feel better today.
but just to be sure I went back to Cadista. I think maybe the Teva was too strong and was making me twitchy.
23
Sep
So, my suspicions were confirmed about Lamictal causing a zinc deficiency (or making one worse). I did the “zinc taste test” today. There really isn’t a good way to test for the amount of zinc in your system because it can move through your body quickly, so there is a “zinc taste test.” The product you use is a zinc sulfate solution (very important you get the right concentration). Here’s how it works:
- Avoid eating, drinking, or smoking for one hour before testing.
- Swish about 10ml (small shot glass worth) of zinc sulfate solution in your mouth for 10 seconds, then either swallow or spit out.
- Wait about 30 seconds, and see what you taste.
Basically, the less you taste it, the more zinc deficient you are.
- If you’re horribly zinc deficient: it will taste like water.
- A little deficient: it will taste like baking powder or slightly sweet.
- Not very deficient: metallic unpleasant taste.
- Just right zinc: a horrible horrible taste that will make most people wrinkle up their faces.
You can use the zinc tally to check your zinc levels. As they improve, the zinc solution will start to taste worse (sorry).
Here are a few zinc solutions: Zinc Status by Ethical Nutrients and Zinc Tally by Metagenics.
It tasted pretty much like water to me. With just a little bitty sweetness. *sigh*
21
Sep
When I ws with Darby, he said to me, “I gave up creativity over peace and it was the best decision I ever made,” and I thought that was the saddest thing I’d ever heard.
Lately, I’ve felt peace. and I’m wondering if he was right.
Yes, I overreacted to almost everything. But on the flip side, it was like I experienced life with every cell of my being. I found joy in so many small things. When I loved, it was fierce. When I hated, just as fierce. Joy was transcendent. Sex, sublime.
Now, I’m not a live wire anymore. But I can finally relax. It’s an interesting thing to experience. If I decide to watch TV for a few hours I’m not crucifying myself. If I go out with someone and they don’t call me, I’m not trapped in a fit of self-loathing. If a client expresses displeasure, I don’t imagine they’re going to blackball me all over town. It’s amazing.
But I do miss my rapid-fire idea generation. They still come, but it’s…slower.
Actually here’s what happens…i get the idea, but I’m not compelled to generate the entire idea from beginning to end and all the caveats and problems of it. I just get the idea, and if I write it down, I keep it. But I’m not so JAZZED by it like I used to.
21
Sep
I had a good week in cutting out sugar, but then I blew it with a cupcake on Saturday. I got super woozy, and now I”m totally nuts over getting more sugar into my system. And when I even ate some “healthy” Laura Junk food, it made me woozy. And I fell into a habit I’d forgotten about – eating sugar, getting woozy, and having to nap. Once I nap, it’s like the woozy “pops” and then I can think again. What a way to waste my life though! Napping it away in a sugar haze.